Wednesday, September 28, 2011


As I come to the final few days for the competition, I just wanted to jot down some things I've been thinking about this week. For me, this competition happened at the perfect time in my life. It's provided a huge distraction from Molly, which was really needed. It's helped me bring myself back to balanced(or at least get me mostly there). It's helped me get rid of all the baby/hospital weight quickly rather than taking two years to get off. It's been a great focus point when I'm tempted to give in to emotional eating.

I've loved pulling out the final bin of clothes this past week. I'm back to my 'normal' clothes. I don't know that I'll ever get back into my 'skinny' wardrobe as there is too much extra skin around my middle, but I'm willing to give up that goal at this point. I'm definitely going to use the money I've won here to work on my wardrobe. I might even get a new pair of shoes as mine are completely shot at this point.

There are still 5.5 weeks left of P90X and I'm excited to see what else changes. I went for an extra run today. Just a small one (2 miles), but it felt great and super easy. Cross training is really making a huge difference. I didn't have my familiar pain in my lower back or my hamstrings. That alone is pretty awesome to me.

On a down side, there was one aspect that I was bummed about in the competition. I really thought there would be more blogging and commenting on each other's blogs. I don't know if anyone from the competition has looked at any of my blogs in the last couple of months since no one has commented on anything. I'm really hoping that is because everyone is super focused on their own journey, and not from discouragement. I love to hear how everyone is doing and I am truly cheering for everyone in their quest for better health. I hope no one has given up, because you are MOST DEFINITELY worth it!!!!

It's weird to think that once again, a new phase is starting for me. I hope that I can maintain the discipline I've found the past four months. It's been fun, and crazy, and a great experience.

THANK YOU KARILYNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, September 23, 2011


This week has been really weird for me. I'm tired, but have more energy. My balance is totally off, but I managed to do some extra workouts. Very strange. I think I might start doing a multi vitamin to see if it helps.

Last night was my debut back into rec volleyball at my church. I haven't played since I was 7 months pregnant with Bitty(two years ago). It was so much fun and a great workout. I stayed after the official game was over to play with some people that meet every week to play. I was definitely rusty and I've lost the calluses on my arms. So today my forearms are SUPER tender and sore. So are my back and hamstrings.

I'm really glad next week is a resting week for P90X. My muscles need a break from the strength building stuff for sure.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Another Big Milestone

In order to be fair, I must pay homage to my little man as he turned 5 years old today! We actually had a really fun, and much needed date. I got an awesome workout in while he was at preschool. When I picked him up it was time for one-on-one time. We went bowling (his favorite game), got some lunch, played some games at the bowling alley, got him a special cupcake from Dippidee's, and did some shopping with a gift card from the grandparents. I discovered something new-my chunk is a serious shopper! He was so cute deciding what he wanted to get. He even bought me a pair of Halloween socks (once I informed him that the ones he picked out were actually in my size, not his).

He is one amazing kiddo. For being COMPLETELY surrounded by girls, he manages to stay 100% boy. Although he does it while wearing pink dresses and high heels sometimes. He is the biggest sweetheart when he wants to be and is so sweet and soft with Molly and Bitty. One of my favorite things about him lately is at the end of every day he wants to know if he had a 'rockstar' day. When I say yes he gets so excited. They don't happen all the time, but when they do he is the most amazing helper in every way.

Last night he opened his present from us-a soccer ball, cones, and a goal for the backyard. He was SOOOOO excited to try them out. I love that he finally wants to go play outside! Tonight we went to his big sister's race, and he was such a great cheerleader for her. Love you little man!!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

A Big Milestone

Today my oldest turned 9. It's so crazy to think about what's happened since then. Nine years ago tonight, I was sitting in the hospital just staring at the most beautiful baby I had ever seen. Literally. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. I remember the panic attack I had when we were getting ready to come home and she was screaming so loud. Nothing I did could calm her down...then Daddy picked her up and there was instant silence. (He's hijacked all the kids like that) Now she's entering the 'tweenage' years and is still one amazing and beautiful kid.

Tomorrow she is running in her first official race. It's one mile long and will be at BYU (we're happy to have cheerleaders come join us) at 6:20. She was so excited for today, yet so nervous about tomorrow. We've had fun talking about what to eat before a race so her body will act the way she wants it to. Part of me really wishes I could run with her just to cheer her on the entire way. (And then I'm happy that I can think that and have my body capable of actually doing it). I just might be more nervous than she is at this point.

So many exciting things going on at the same time (tomorrow is also my son's birthday). She is so nervous that she won't win, so we've talked a lot about how winning isn't the goal at this point. Finishing is. Winning can be the goal later on. I just hope she is proud of what she's done so far and keeps on trying.

**UPDATE: She did great! I think I had her eat too close to the race, but she only stopped and walked one time. She even had a BYU runner stay with her the entire time. I have no clue what her time was, but I was so proud of her for setting a goal and pushing herself to accomplish it! I admit, I choked up a little when she started and again when I saw her cross the finish line. Hopefully this is the first of many races to come!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Teaching Moments

This past week has screamed 'teaching moments' to me. I've had some really nice heart to heart talks with all of my children (that can talk). With Paige we spoke about the importance of finishing and what's truly important about running a race and also why having a goal of 'skinniness' isn't what we should strive for-HEALTHY is. With Reagan we spoke about not giving up when facing a new challenge (crocheting in this instance) and religious tolerance and how every family gets to set their own rules, and that's great. With Tyson we spoke about why TV and video games aren't the end all be all and the injustice of when his birthday falls(3 weeks after the cutoff).

It blows me away how much our kids pick up and learn from observation. It's really made me think about what I want my kids to learn from me-particularly in the health and body image department. I'm very careful not to use words like skinny and fat, and I always try to explain the health factor behind the food choices I make for our family. When my girls started talking about who was skinnier and asked me if their legs were skinny enough, I was blown away. How can they be learning this stuff at 8 and 6 years old???? Needless to say, we've had several discussions on what healthy means and how to get there.

It's also helped me refocus on the purpose of this competition. WEIGHT is not the end all be all....BETTER HEALTH is. I've made a goal to really focus on expanding my cooking skills to make things that are more 'fun' for the kids. Yesterday we experimented with homemade chocolate chip granola bars. Super easy and super yummy!! Now when I get the big puppy dog eyes for some kind of treat in their lunches, there's something I'll actually let them take. It made me want to learn more and experiment more, and get them involved so they'll always know how to make the smarter choice.

Knowledge is power, right? So the best thing I can pass on to my kids is the HOW and WHY a healthier lifestyle is better. And the only way to teach it is to know for myself.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

10 days down...

I can't believe there's only 3 weeks left to the competition. Part of me is ready for it to be finished as I'm losing my drive as I get closer to my end goal weight. Then there's part of me that's wondering what else I can do with the motivation of a competition like this one.

There has been little to no extra energy for additional workouts this week, I'm just plain pooped out. My glutes haven't been this sore for a LONG time. Hopefully that means I'm pushing myself better?

Molly is doing much, much better. After waiting for three days to hear back from the GI specialist, I finally got a phone call yesterday. It felt good to talk to Dr. Pohl about everything. At this point he says that it appears she will face more constipation issues (meaning lack of working intestines), then things going too quickly (hyper active intestines). He thinks we need to add a non sugar based laxative to her diet so she can better process her food. Something called lactoluse or whatever. It also sounds like I should've taken her in last week, but made the right changes to correct the issue overall.

Another frustrating this this week is the return of my tension headaches. When one starts I swear I wish I could just cut off my head. I just wish I could figure out what the trigger is for them. I'm getting tons of fluids, really stretching my neck and back throughout the day, and trying to get the right amount of sleep. Blech.

And one little side note-I miss my candy corn. I usually live on them from now until mid November when I run out. I know a lot of people think they're gross, but I've become quite addicted since discovering I don't always do well with chocolate. I'll probably end up buying myself a bag October 1st to celebrate. Maybe. Unless this really good self-control manages to stick around...

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Say What???

How the heck are we already a week into September? I am so not prepared for this month. Two birthday parties (and presents) to figure out, several other friend parties, running races, and all my other kids. Oh yeah, and a girls weekend to plan. Guess I should've planned better last month.

I did go a little lax on my eating over the weekend, but not as bad as I predicted I would. I did each a bunch of oreos, oatmeal peanut butter choco chip cookie dough, and half a piece of chocolate zucchini cake. I'll admit. It made me miss junk food. It also helped calm my nerves regarding Molly. However, I want to finish losing this extra weight more, so no more down time in regards to food.

This week is back to strength training for P90X. And today I am just as sore as I was after the first day. CRAZY!! I did mostly survive the plyometrics workout today though, which is a huge improvement from a month ago. And I think there might be just a hint of definition forming in my stomach. That hasn't happened....well ever. Even when I was competing in high school I never had that. It's a good feeling.

Today I met with Paul again and talked about my paranoia over Molly. I still haven't started food again, but she is consistently getting more fluid and her poop is soooooo much better. And I've learned how she'll react to sugar. We thought it would be intense diaper issues, but instead it's intense vomiting. Talk about a way to stay on track with junk food. Just get your body to completely reject sugar.

I think I'm doing better, but I'm back to being terrified to leave her with anyone again. If only she could learn how to talk, my life would be far less stressful.

We also talked about the importance movement has on your emotional and mental well being. He told me about several studies that did advance brain imaging with the subjects over a period of time and the brain showed vast differences with even just 15 to 20 minutes a day of being active, particularly with exercise that works on balance. The exercise that showed the biggest overall improvement was swimming. Something about the way you utilize every single muscle is like a massage for your central nervous system and helps with everything from mood, to concentration, to circulation.

I can definitely see how that would be the case. My mind seems much calmer and able to cope with life when I'm active. He shared a couple of stories of past patients that were able to change everything in their life just by learning to ride a bike at 82, or going for a hike once a week. Crazy how our body is so tied to our mind. Change one for the better, and everything goes for the better.

So my goal for this month is to be good with my food choices, and make sure I get my entire family active every day. What are some of your goals for the month??

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Molly Logs

I need to write down some info for Molly and since no one comments here, I'm guessing not many people read it. So I'm sorry in advance if I gross you out (if you don't like poop talk, this post is NOT for you).

She has been acting weird for about a week and half. At first it was just some fussiness I related to sleepiness. This past week has changed my opinion.

Monday-extreme fussiness about an hour after eating. Slept ok. Late afternoon pain screaming for about 45 minutes. Once she stopped I realized she was poopy. When I changed her diaper it was extremely odorous, very hard, almost dry looking. Dark gray color. Smell and texture made me think dehydration. Started tracking wet diapers.

Tuesday- More of the same. Late afternoon pain screaming resulted in very large, dark gray, very solid poop. Very smelly and dry looking again. No really wet diapers, just a few smelly urine diapers. When she did urinate, it was a little darker, but not brown.

Wednesday- Decided to eliminate food from the equation in the hopes that I pushed too hard, too fast. Have introduced turkey, green beans, and peas (all mixed in rice cereal)in the past three weeks. Symptoms started on second day of peas (if there's a correlation). Only poops for the day were very small rabbit pellets. Again dark gray in color and very hard. Gas eased up a little bit and Molly started waking up several times during the night. Spoke with a nurse and started getting paperwork together to take her to the hospital for IV fluids. Nurse suggested waiting one more day.

Thursday- Still no food, only bottles. She finished one for the first time in almost two weeks (she had been leaving 2-3 oz in bottles recently). Started trying to switch formula to similac sensitive thinking the sugar in it might help her with constipation issues. She did have a more normal poop in the late afternoon with minimal fussiness prior. Large amount, dark gray color, texture was smooth and between mucousy and watery. Still woke up several times during the night. Urine output increased noticeably.

Friday-Only bottles. One very small poop. Same as Thursday. Dark grey, smotth, and between mucousy and watery. Bad night sleep again. Started vomiting small amounts of curdled food.

Saturday- All bottles are only similac. Vomiting increases, only one very small poop. Dark gray in color, more pasty this time. Urine down, but much more normal.

Sunday- Vomited three times within two hours of morning bottle. Give up trying similac, and go back to enfamil gentlease. I'm guessing it's the sugar? Going back to Enfamil. Starting to worry about possible stricture or ileus forming. Need to call GI dietician to see if we need to go in tomorrow.

*Temperatures were higher this week, contributing factor or not? Only time she was outside was for morning walks (almost chilly then), and getting in and out of car for appointments. She did have dramatic decrease in urine last time temps spiked for a week in July. No vomiting then though and poop output unaffected.

*****update-she had a big poop yesterday mid day and this morning (monday). both were good texture and color was dark gray green. No fussiness and she's starting to act like she wants food again. Glad we switched back to enfamil and hopefully this is the end of this little backtrack!

******another update-today was great in terms of vomiting. She had two poops less than an hour apart and I'm finally starting to see formula poop again. In looking through the support group, I really should've taken her to the hospital last week. More than ten days of dark gray green poop tells me she was WAYYYYY more backed up than I realized, which means she was wayyyyyy more dehydrated than I thought. I feel so freakin' bad. I try so hard not to be a hypochondriac, and I think it backfired this time. So thankful there was a little yellow poop today!!!!!!

Thursday, September 1, 2011


So last week I decided to truly count my calories until I weighed in this morning. And I decided to borrow my friend's scale early so I could see where I was really at for the weigh in. Well, my scale sucks, which made me very happy. I didn't have as far to go to hit my goal weight as I thought. (yippee) It was interesting counting calories. I never realized how often I take a bite or lick of something throughout the day. Or how much that can add up with your calories. By eliminating that and being really strict with my eating I actually surpassed my goal weight for the month-YIPPEEEEEEEE!!!! Such a better feeling than last month.

I don't know if I can sustain such strict eating, especially this weekend, but my curiosity is definitely peaked. Now I just need to survive at least three birthdays and a couple of birthday parties this month.

Here's to a great September!!!