Tuesday, February 28, 2012

What's Next???

We've now been sick since Christmas. Thanks Grandpa! After the round of illness in January, February is now the month of croup and nasty head colds. Sad part is the only difference is the coughing sounds different. I took the family to our surprise mini-vacation over President's Day weekend and we had fun. We also became acquainted with several pharmacies around us. Of course the first time I decide not to bring a full arsenal of first aid stuff we get two kids with over 101 degree fevers, total congestion for three people, and a very constipated Molly that ends up with a massive reaction to some sugar that results in a VERY RAW little bum. Fortunately, I booked a two bedroom suite, so we had 3 tvs and lots of space for sick kids to sleep isolated. There was a water park at the hotel as well, so the healthy kids and Daddy did get to play quite a bit. Ever since we got home, the three big kids keep asking why we can't move there forever. I'm guessing the water park and theater room I rented out for movie night are the clinchers.

Adam has been completely wiped out by the head cold. He just can't seem to get fully healthy again this winter. Luckily, most of the kids are on the mend again. Molly had me pretty scared about dehydration for a while, but we're working on that. She has lost a lot of weight, but so far her doctor isn't overly worried. If it doesn't come back once she's better, then we'll worry. She is also having weird reactions to milk. We are on our third kind of milk to see if we can find something she's willing to drink and doesn't have bad side effects. Dairy moves through her too quickly and gives her horrible breath, and almond milk makes her so impacted that we almost ended up in the hospital. Her coughing/choking episodes are showing the slightest hint of getting better. And we found she is a massive snuggler with a high fever. Lately I've just been wishing she came with some kind of instruction manual so I would know what to give her to help.

All of the above had led me to put the house on total lockdown since the 20th. I kept kids home from school and even had Adam work from home. I know it's so annoying to be house bound, but it's better than thinking our need to get out is the cause for someone's trip to the hospital. If only more people would realize this instead of just keeping all their social plans even with sick kids! It's so frustrating!!! I'll tell you though, come May I just might have to buy passes to every single outside attraction in Utah so we're never home.

It's funny to call someone to come give us a quote on something for our basement, and they start asking what my availability is for them to come over. I've started just laughing and let them know I basically haven't left in two years, so unless they're booked until May I'm available any time they are. It's going to be so weird getting my mindset to change once we're free to come and go as we please.

For now, I'm happy we're finally getting some snow so I don't feel like it's just Molly keeping us home. And I'm excited to go to San Francisco with Adam next week. It should be an interesting adventure. Hopefully I can remember how to actually communicate with groups of adults...

Monday, February 13, 2012


Once again, I've discovered how much I like my therapist. As I've been in this funk the past couple of weeks I've been trying to figure out if I am getting depressed or sick or what. After an hour of talking with Paul, things seem to be put back into perspective again. And low and behold, my super intensified food cravings don't feel so strong tonight.

Today did have several other good things going for it too. I finally made it in to my chiropractor and finally got things straightened out again. I also met up with my first friend from college for lunch. It was great seeing her again and catching up. It reminded me that the outside world does exist and I actually like interacting with it on occasion.

But I digress. I haven't met with Paul in almost two months, so the first little bit was catching him up on all the discoveries and setbacks we've had since Christmas. At the end of it I mentioned the funk I've been in and how it's driving me crazy, but I can't seem to make myself care at the same time. He basically said that due to the chronic nature of Molly, on top of the four other kids under the age of 10, my body has redefined what the norm is for levels of adrenaline and cortisol. That, combined with the housebound thing is making my body feel trapped. Soooooo, my body is trying to combat that by completely isolating myself from everything to make it seem like I'm not trapped-I just don't want to be around other people. I don't know if that makes any sense or not, but it does to me. Once I looked at the funk at a stress defense mechanism I felt a lot less crazy. All the trips I'm trying to force into this year make a lot more sense now too. I'm literally trying to escape. (Paul thinks they're all awesome ideas by the way)

In talking about how to cope day to day so I don't turn into what I've been this past week, he said to remember GPS. Every day should have one GOAL directed objective. Could be big or small, as long as it's quantifiable. Second, find and create PLEASANT experiences, such as the lunch out today. Third, be sure to SOCIALIZE in a capacity where I can relax and talk about whatever comes to mind with someone I'm comfortable with. Preferably creating positive memories I can recall to help deal with stress later on.

Maybe that's why today seemed so much better than the past seven to ten days. I did all three of those things and it was so nice. I may have some work cut out for me to get rid of the recent gut expansion, but I feel more in control of things again. I feel like it's worth it again.

Sometimes I think you just need someone to point out the obvious so you can remember it.

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Time Keeps on Slipping...

I don't know why, but I've had Steve Miller Band songs in my head the past couple of days. I feel like things are just slipping through the cracks all over the place. I start to get something done, then POOF! all my energy is gone and the kids have taken over the house. Last week I did great with exercising. On the flip side, I've thrown my neck and back out and can't get to my chiropractor until next week. To top things off, our basement was painted and wood was stained last week so I've had migraines for almost a week straight(I'm really effected by fumes). The only thing that helps is drinking Coke. It also means I've been eating like crap because I felt like crap and didn't care.

Overall I think it's that things feel like they're spinning out of control and I'm a control freak, so I don't like it. I can't wait to meet with Paul next Monday. Hopefully he'll help me figure out what's really going on. There is so much I want to be doing, it just feels like I have ADD every time I try to do anything.

At the same time, I'm getting really excited for this year. I bought a ticket to join Adam in San Francisco next month for four days...WITHOUT CHILDREN!!!! This will be my first time going, and I can't wait. Also, I've got three or four other trips in the works that should be a ton of fun. And, our housebound status is over in three short months!!!!!!!!!! Molly is doing well overall, and has shown us she is stronger than we thought. As of today she's taking zantac and benedryl again, courtesy of a cold. And we've discovered she can't really handle dairy milk either, so almond milk it is for our family from now on. Other than that, she's handled everything else she's tried.

Maybe that's my problem...I just keep dreaming of what will be instead of what is at the moment. Guess I should work on that.