GPS

Once again, I've discovered how much I like my therapist. As I've been in this funk the past couple of weeks I've been trying to figure out if I am getting depressed or sick or what. After an hour of talking with Paul, things seem to be put back into perspective again. And low and behold, my super intensified food cravings don't feel so strong tonight.

Today did have several other good things going for it too. I finally made it in to my chiropractor and finally got things straightened out again. I also met up with my first friend from college for lunch. It was great seeing her again and catching up. It reminded me that the outside world does exist and I actually like interacting with it on occasion.

But I digress. I haven't met with Paul in almost two months, so the first little bit was catching him up on all the discoveries and setbacks we've had since Christmas. At the end of it I mentioned the funk I've been in and how it's driving me crazy, but I can't seem to make myself care at the same time. He basically said that due to the chronic nature of Molly, on top of the four other kids under the age of 10, my body has redefined what the norm is for levels of adrenaline and cortisol. That, combined with the housebound thing is making my body feel trapped. Soooooo, my body is trying to combat that by completely isolating myself from everything to make it seem like I'm not trapped-I just don't want to be around other people. I don't know if that makes any sense or not, but it does to me. Once I looked at the funk at a stress defense mechanism I felt a lot less crazy. All the trips I'm trying to force into this year make a lot more sense now too. I'm literally trying to escape. (Paul thinks they're all awesome ideas by the way)

In talking about how to cope day to day so I don't turn into what I've been this past week, he said to remember GPS. Every day should have one GOAL directed objective. Could be big or small, as long as it's quantifiable. Second, find and create PLEASANT experiences, such as the lunch out today. Third, be sure to SOCIALIZE in a capacity where I can relax and talk about whatever comes to mind with someone I'm comfortable with. Preferably creating positive memories I can recall to help deal with stress later on.

Maybe that's why today seemed so much better than the past seven to ten days. I did all three of those things and it was so nice. I may have some work cut out for me to get rid of the recent gut expansion, but I feel more in control of things again. I feel like it's worth it again.

Sometimes I think you just need someone to point out the obvious so you can remember it.