Mind Games

Is time speeding up for anyone else??? I feel like I've been robbed of at least 18 months of my life. Things are looking really good for Molly so far, which is really helping with my stress levels. She's obsessed with food, so we're charting her transit time for each new thing to try and find out what we need to avoid. I think at this point I'm the one holding her back because I'm so paranoid food isn't going to work.

My big baby is sprouting allergies out of nowhere. We have an appointment next week to do a ton of testing to find out what's going. So far I have a list of about 10 things that she for sure needs to have tested. It's not going to be fun.

As for me, things are getting better. Paul is starting to stretch out my appointments-that must mean that I'm figuring things out, right??? I hope so. This week we spoke about frustrations with my oldest and her sense of entitlement that drives me CRAZY!!!! It was interesting to hear his suggestions and experience he's had with it. Basically he said to start by sitting her down and discussing the differences between entitlement and empowerment/empathy. Then have her teach it back to us. Once she has another meltdown, go for shock value to show her life doesn't work the way you want just because you whine. His suggestion was to eliminate EVERYTHING but the bed from her room and have her earn things back over time. I'm kind of tempted to do it....is that bad???

We also talked about things I need to do better. My sleep has been AWFUL the past few weeks, and when I described it to him he said it's my body's way of telling me to SLOW DOWN and get some things off my plate. The only problem with that is what do I take off? My children need to eat, they need clothing, they need my time, and the other projects we're in the middle of are time sensitive and can't just be dropped. And what mom isn't doing an intricate balancing act???

He suggested going a different route. What he recommended was sitting down with Adam and each of us discussing 5 things that we do for each other that show caring/loving. Once that is verbalized and out there, be sure to validate any good thing we do for each other that we notice. That way instead of focusing on what isn't being done, we're focusing on the positive. I'm hoping to do this over the weekend. Can't hurt right?

Overall, I think this has been a good month. I'm feeling in control of the sugar addiction (sort of), and my exercise routine is feeling the grove, and I'm starting to pull some of my bigger normal clothes down and they are fitting!!! The scale likes to play jedi mind tricks on me, but I'm starting to not care what it says. I also discovered a new trick. With Molly's pregnancy, I have lost ALL elasticity in my skin. My stomach is now totally moldable. It doesn't bounce back. Gross, yet fascinating at the same time.

In case anyone is interested, I have a blog that I write down my runs and stuff. It's http://richgirl97.fastrunningblog.com/. I've been keeping it since January 2009. It's a great way to track your activity, no matter where you are.

Our morning walks are starting to make a difference. Two of my kids are now talking about wanting to be runners, and join a running club at school. Yeah for physical activity!!!

Receiving

I just wanted to jot down some thoughts from my session this week. There weren't any specific suggestions this time. In fact, it was mostly me just venting my frustration at the world. He asked me how I've been sleeping and guess what? I haven't been sleeping well at all. Dang.

The main thing that stuck with me this time was that he admonished me to work on the act of receiving. As in truly receiving help. Not trying to keep a ledger in my head and constantly work on making things even when someone helps with whatever. But truly just saying thank you and knowing that one day it will be my turn to pay it forward.

At first I thought he was a little loony because that's one thing I feel like I've worked really hard on the past 8 months. I told him that I totally accept help when someone mentions something specific. But then he pointed out that I'm probably trying to do something for them in return while they're helping me. When I thought about it, he was right. DANG!

He also asked about taking time out for myself, my sanity time. Yeah, it still doesn't happen. I mean, I am starting to exercise regularly again, which is HUGE; but it still revolves around children and naptimes. I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever feel like there's actually time for ME and what I WANT versus just surviving with what I NEED. Maybe 10 years down the road when all the kids are in school...

Another thing Paul point out was that my lovely "vacation" is going to take some time to really get over. Thinking about it, it makes sense why I've felt so drained since we got back. Hopefully I'm finally processing things and moving on in a good way.

Overall, things are good. I'm loving having a husband that gets to come home during the summer. I'm loving the time we spend each night just horsing around in our yard(that I finally love). I'm loving getting back into a groove again with exercise-today I ran the entire 5k. Hopefully I'll get it back under 30 minutes next time. I'm loving that my normal clothes are starting to fit again. Today Molly tried food (rice cereal) for the first time, and LOVED it. Hopefully her intestines feel the same way.

What are some things you are loving about your life right now???? If this competition is all about getting healthy, I think finding the things we love about our life can only help, right??

Day 11

So, I finished the cleanse thing yesterday. I discovered several things in doing it.

1. I still cannot handle raw fruits and veggies. Very bad reaction.
2. I CAN handle fiber. After a reaction the first day, I was able to handle it the other days. Very good to know.
3. Whole grains don't make me as sick as they used to....as long as I don't have too much in one day.
4. I CAN survive only eating one or two cinnamon bears a day. I couldn't handle no sugar at all(I think that was a more a function of the timing), but it was definitely much more limited than before.

This morning I weighed myself and redid my measurements. Since I don't have a digital scale, weight is an estimate. It looks like I lost about 5 pounds. Here are my measurements:

neck- 12 3/4"
chest- 37 1/2"
R arm- 12"
L arm- 12"
waist- 32 1/4"
hip- 37 3/4"
r leg- 22 1/4"
l leg- 22 1/4"

I lost a total of 7 inches. Overall, I think I'll consider it a success. It showed me that I really need to buckle down and figure out a way to start cooking again. It also emphasized to me that I don't eat very well during the middle of the day. Lunch is my nemesis. I really need to work on actually eating lunch, and eating better, less processed food for lunch. Breakfast and dinner I do ok, but lunch just doesn't really happen with all the kids needs.

I'm really curious to see if I can keep up the no sugar thing. I did cheat a little bit, but was really proud of my self control. I skipped out on cake for three birthdays, dessert for family dinners, and a smoothie/cookie social for the neighborhood last night. While I admit to being a little sad, I'm impressed that I said no and didn't cave. I tried to focus on talking to more people instead.

Even though summertime is a really hard time to do this competition, it's been my anchor so far. Thanks Karilynn!!!

An Unwelcome Visitor

Ugh. I've been doing so well this week. I've had little slip ups here and there with sugar, but I've been proud of my progress. Numbers were going down on the scale, life was great, then reality hit. For the first time in 2.5 years I've received a visit from the visitor every girl dreads. My body is completely fraking out. Not only have I gained five pounds overnight, but my back is totally twisted, my head hurts, and my emotions are crazy out of control. My only comfort is that it would be so much worse if I didn't have the focus of the competition.

Now I just hope things go back to normal before the 1st. Blah!

The Three E's

So today's therapy session was REALLY needed after last week's vacation. I almost didn't make it because I couldn't find anyone to watch the kids, then Adam surprised me by taking the day off to make sure I didn't miss it. (Yeah, he scored about a billion brownie points for that one) After hearing my meltdown description, he started getting me back on track to a more positive place. The big things he told me to focus on were Eating right, Exercising, and Elevate your spirits. He said to decide what would make me feel peaceful and/or happy and make it happen. Whether it's a food I only eat occasionally, taking a walk, reading a book WITHOUT kids around, etc. The only problem is.....I'm stumped. I truly can't think of anything that elevates my spirit at the moment, at least nothing that can realistically happen.

Another thing we discussed were the times a marriage can be strengthened or ripped apart. He mentioned four times specifically: arrivals, departures, crisis, and stress. He said that these times are 4 for 1 times either good or bad. The more special we can make arrivals and departures, the more times we remember feeling closer to each other. And with crisis and stress, it's important to discuss what we feel our needs are rather than blaming each other. He also mentioned that I needed to let Adam know how awesome he was for catching on to my stress and acting on it in a positive way.

The last thing that really stuck with me from the session was a discussion about time spent with our kids. apparently there was research done in 1978 to see how much time parents spend with their kids each day that is not corrective or directive (time outs or telling them what to do). The results showed approximately 8.5 minutes was all a kid got from their parents each day. The research was done again in 2000 because people felt it was poorly done, and the result showed only 4 minutes were spent each day. In 2007, they conducted a more thorough experiment over a four year period and showed that kids now days get exactly ONE minute of their parents time each day that isn't telling them what to do or explaining why they did it wrong. ONE FREAKIN' MINUTE!!!

Then I started thinking about this competition. It's about making healthy choices and creating a healthier lifestyle. How easy would it be to start making those changes to incorporate the kiddos as well? Hikes, walks, bike rides, whatever you like. And then use that time to connect as a family again. Discuss favorite things of the day and talk about challenges or difficulties faced during the day (Paul called this the 'roses and thorns' discussion). If we're really striving to be healthier, it truly needs to incorporate your family dynamic.

So, this week I'm working on the three E's, strengthening my marriage, and spending REAL time with my kiddos. That way when they're all grown up and gone they won't despise spending time with each other. Hopefully they'll even look forward to it!

I am curious though-what are some things that elevate your spirits?????

Day 1

Today I'm starting fresh. I'm also beginning a 10 day no sugar, focus on fiber and probiotics cleanse. Since the goal is to two fold, I wanted to document the first step. One purpose of this is to help me curb the sugar addiction (yes, it's a full blown addiction at this point), and two is to see if it helps with measurements of my body. Sooo, here's my starting point:

Chest 38 1/4"
Neck 13"
Waist 34 1/2"
Hip 39"
R arm 12 1/2"
L arm 12 1/2"
R leg 23"
L leg 23 1/4"


I'm really curious to see how the fiber affects me. In the past, I couldn't tolerate it at all, but in my research for Molly I've discovered that when you have hypermotility issues with your intestines, fiber actually slows things down and aides with digestion. I guess we'll see which is the case for me.

Game on!

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

That's all.

Temptation and Frustration

I'm back. After a week long vacation to Breckenridge, CO, I can honestly say I did myself proud in one area-food. We went there for a family reunion. For my kids, it was the greatest thing on earth. For me, it was the worst fears of my therapist come true. I really have no desire to attend another reunion for my family ever again. I also learned that when I'm slapped with EXTREME emotional stress I completely stop eating. All together. I don't know if I consumed even one real meal for a three day period. Not good. On the upside, I didn't snack, graze, or gorge on junk food either.

It got bad enough that my family left a day early for the condo we were staying in a for a few days after the reunion. Luckily, we decided to bail because I discovered that our reservation had been lost somewhere. Fortunately, it all worked out and we were able to check in a day early. Once we were just our family again, I did have one break down after the kids went to bed and ate a HUGE bowl of ice cream. Other than that, I ordered all grilled chicken when we went out, never ate junk food OR drank soda, and made sure we did something active as a family every day.

Sleepwise, I feel like a zombie. The bitties did fairly well, but given my emotional state, I just couldn't sleep. I tried to drink a ton of water, but at 10,000 feet you really NEED to consume a ton just to keep your lips from splitting wide open.

Activity wise we played at a fun park, went hiking, canoeing, and walked almost everywhere instead of driving. I would definitely recommend it for anyone who loves to be outdoors. It was BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! I tried to work on the deep breathing too, but didn't do it as much as I would have liked.

I'm trying to deal with my frustrations regarding the reunion in a good way. I'm starting a cleanse thing on Monday to help me with my sugar addiction. Ten days of no white sugar and some vitamin boosters. I don't know if I can do the diet as strictly as they recommend because of my issues, but I'm using it as much for an emotional cleanse as anything else. I'm curious to see if the probiotic with it will make any difference as well.

Can't wait to see what this month will bring!

The New Diet

Last night I decided to conduct a little experiment. I weighed myself right before bed exactly how I weigh in for the competition so I could see if sleeping truly makes the difference everyone claims it does. Guess what...





IT DOES!

I lost 1.5 lbs during my 7 hour sleep last night. I didn't even have to 'move more, eat less'. How sweet is that? I'm liking this new diet!!