Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Three E's

So today's therapy session was REALLY needed after last week's vacation. I almost didn't make it because I couldn't find anyone to watch the kids, then Adam surprised me by taking the day off to make sure I didn't miss it. (Yeah, he scored about a billion brownie points for that one) After hearing my meltdown description, he started getting me back on track to a more positive place. The big things he told me to focus on were Eating right, Exercising, and Elevate your spirits. He said to decide what would make me feel peaceful and/or happy and make it happen. Whether it's a food I only eat occasionally, taking a walk, reading a book WITHOUT kids around, etc. The only problem is.....I'm stumped. I truly can't think of anything that elevates my spirit at the moment, at least nothing that can realistically happen.

Another thing we discussed were the times a marriage can be strengthened or ripped apart. He mentioned four times specifically: arrivals, departures, crisis, and stress. He said that these times are 4 for 1 times either good or bad. The more special we can make arrivals and departures, the more times we remember feeling closer to each other. And with crisis and stress, it's important to discuss what we feel our needs are rather than blaming each other. He also mentioned that I needed to let Adam know how awesome he was for catching on to my stress and acting on it in a positive way.

The last thing that really stuck with me from the session was a discussion about time spent with our kids. apparently there was research done in 1978 to see how much time parents spend with their kids each day that is not corrective or directive (time outs or telling them what to do). The results showed approximately 8.5 minutes was all a kid got from their parents each day. The research was done again in 2000 because people felt it was poorly done, and the result showed only 4 minutes were spent each day. In 2007, they conducted a more thorough experiment over a four year period and showed that kids now days get exactly ONE minute of their parents time each day that isn't telling them what to do or explaining why they did it wrong. ONE FREAKIN' MINUTE!!!

Then I started thinking about this competition. It's about making healthy choices and creating a healthier lifestyle. How easy would it be to start making those changes to incorporate the kiddos as well? Hikes, walks, bike rides, whatever you like. And then use that time to connect as a family again. Discuss favorite things of the day and talk about challenges or difficulties faced during the day (Paul called this the 'roses and thorns' discussion). If we're really striving to be healthier, it truly needs to incorporate your family dynamic.

So, this week I'm working on the three E's, strengthening my marriage, and spending REAL time with my kiddos. That way when they're all grown up and gone they won't despise spending time with each other. Hopefully they'll even look forward to it!

I am curious though-what are some things that elevate your spirits?????

1 comment:

  1. Now I'm going to clock the time I spend with my kids and maybe document what we do together each day. :)
    We should get together again!

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