This past week has been one of those weeks. You know, the kind that leave you beating yourself up for not being more proactive, a better cook, a better house cleaner, a more patient mother, etc. Things are great, except for my attitude kind of weeks? Yeah, that kind. I find myself having little to no self control over food and then beat myself up over it mentally. Molly is doing SOOOOO much better, as are all of the kids, but Adam just keeps getting more and more sick.
Then good ol' Sunday creeps up on you. A day to breathe, take a step back, and realize I just need to calm down. At church I watched two little girls just Molly's age play with each other and felt my heart breaking just a little bit when I realize that Molly is no where NEAR where they are physically or developmentally. Much closer than she was a few months ago, but still has so far to go. So many struggles we need to figure out.
As I looked through our camera I realized that our other kids have picked up on the obsession with documenting Molly and her progression. Almost every picture and video is of her. So much of our lives really do revolve around her. I'm trying to be better about focusing on each child individually every day, but apparently the documentation of that is seriously lacking. Thankfully, the big kids still love and adore Molly and are still her biggest cheerleaders. Which reminds me of how blessed I am to have children so willing to grow in ways they shouldn't have to yet, and so willing to find the joy in simple things.
Then I log onto facebook to see if anyone in the support group has responded to a small question I posted and real perspective settles in. A brand new dad of a 6 week old is facing a decision I pray every night(literally) I never have to make...let his new baby pass away peacefully or fight for a 6 organ transplant with a long waiting list and low chance of survival. Just thinking of the agony of this new dad and mom completely breaks my heart and has tears streaming down my face.
Sometimes it just takes a little bit of perspective to remind you what truly matters and life is beyond amazing, even with all the frustrations.
Hey Chica! I love you and you are WONDERFUL! I don't understand all things Molly, but I do know that Molly is a happy loving child. She is smart and a hard worker. She is so blessed to have you as her mother and such a wonderful family. Right now there is no way to know how far she'll go or if she'll have any permanent limitations. What we do know now is that no matter what the future may bring, she will be loved and have everything she'll ever need with you as her family.
ReplyDelete