Friday, April 27, 2012

Just Off

Somehow I've managed to lose the month of April somewhere. I don't know what I did with it, I just know there's no way it's already over. I'm still struggling to find my groove since getting back from Texas, both physically and mentally. Physically, Adam and I have both had just plain weird things going on. Back spasms, stomach issues, tension migraines, allergies, etc. I have this feeling that I'm heading towards a train wreck with my stomach issues, but I don't have the energy to figure out what's setting it off. To top things off, my neck, shoulders, and back have been so tight I'm scared of a serious injury if I work out yet, so I've just been avoiding exercise all together. It's probably a quick fix at the chiropractor-just need to get it into the schedule.

Other than that, I'm just off. I've been so tired that I can't focus on anything, and I've been falling asleep at 8 and 9 pm. Being so tired gets me back into my depressed state of mind, so it's been hard to shake off. Then I start taking it out on the kiddos, and guilt sets in. A totally vicious cycle, and one I'm really working on breaking. I'm trying to go back and read through the tips and advice from Paul last summer, but it feels like it's not what I need to hear right now. Super frustrating.

One thing keeping me somewhat in check is appointments. Between dentist, therapy, and rehab specialist, we've been pretty busy. Little man had his first bad news check-up at the dentist. I'm still figuring out how to tell him he's getting knocked out so they can get fixed. Molly is the super star of the month. First, she's pretty much stair safe!!!! After spending hours every day practicing going up and down, she's got it down! When we told Dr. Gooch at her follow up appointment, her jaw dropped. Yeah, that's how Molly rolls. Standing and walking are still a long ways off, but at least stairs don't give me a heart attack anymore and the baby gate is safely put away again. She also had a breakthrough with receptive language. Through much bribery of treats and ice cream, she figured out the sign and word for 'more'!!!!!!!! Even though she had two days of consequences from the ice cream, it was worth it!! Dr. Gooch suggested starting speech therapy, but we decided to hold off one more month and see what she does first.

Another area of excitement (hopefully), is that Molly appears to be ok without the prevacid anymore! In trying to get more for her the past few weeks, I discovered just how bad the shortage is nationally. Pretty much our only option was to get the solu-tabs, which work great, but it's a $185 co-pay for a 4 week supply. Since she's been doing better with reflux lately, we decided to try and take her off before investing in a solu-tab refill. Today is day three and so far, so good!!!!! (knock on wood)

On a different Molly note, the big girls are starting to see just how behind Molly is in the physical department. Today when I picked them up from school, they were going on and on about how a parent volunteer came in for a party and brought a baby the same age as Molly. They were shocked at how well she was walking and getting into things and talking. Part of me was glad they see Molly as the norm, but a little piece of my heart was aching that the differences are becoming more and more noticeable for them. They are still her biggest cheerleaders.

Overall, I feel like I'm getting closer to back on track at this point. I just wish my body would quit hating me so much sometimes.


  1. It was so good seeing you. I just love your family. Especially that little Molly. She's adorable! I'd babysit her (or any of your kids) any day. Let me know if you ever need a break. :)

  2. I hope you're figuring things out! don't give up!!!