Saturday, December 15, 2012

Still hanging around

There have been many attempts to write something down the past six months, but honestly my fear of other people reading my thoughts stopped me.  This year has been quite the whirlwind, and full of so many ups and downs.  I'm still not doing very well in the sanity department.  I could really use a visit with my therapist and some medication, but both of those things require me going somewhere during the day without children.  And that just isn't doable so far. 

Anyways, I really wanted to jot down some Molly updates and thoughts.  She has had an incredible year, full of so much progress.  She started walking the beginning of September.  After that, her vocabulary exploded.  It really felt like she was 'normal', right up until I filled out the stupid questionnaire at the pediatrician's office for her 2 year checkup.  For some reason, it really made me feel like crap.  Even though I am very aware of her delays, I somehow forget until I see in black and white what she should be doing.

But I digress. 

The past month brought some bigger changes for Molly.  One is that she was evaluated for speech therapy and qualified for it.  Part of me is glad she is getting the help she needs to make sure any delays are minimized.  But part of me is heartbroken all over again.  When the therapist was doing the evaluation, she told me that she hears a slight lisp most likely caused by the brain damage (I'm finally to the point that I can call it a stroke, but I still can't make myself contact the head specialist who will give her a cerebral palsy diagnosis).  For some reason, this hit me super hard.  I don't know why, but in all my thoughts about her nerve damage, it never occurred to me that it would extent to her head as well.  Guess I'm naive or compartmentalizing or something.

This brings me to the second big change-the opthalmologist has decided she needs glasses.  Her eyesight isn't all that bad, but her left eye is crossing.  She is thinking it is a muscle issue, so we are trying glasses out before going to surgery to correct it.  Tonight while talking to my sis-in-law about it, it clicked that the eye with the problems is on the side of the face that has the nerve damage.  Up until that moment, I just told myself it's been genetics at play, but now I question that assumption.

Going shopping for the glasses was pretty hilarious though.  Little Miss wouldn't try on anything but red frames with no nose pads.  If we tried to get her to put something else on, she would grab the frames, scream at us, and throw them on the floor.  So now she has the brightest red glasses I've ever seen.  And they look so cute on her and she is soooooo proud to wear them (for 60 seconds at least).  I love the strength of her personality, and it cracks me up to see wear she asserts herself.

Stomach wise, she had a scare in July that almost landed her in the hospital, but other than that, she's been great.  She still has her days and her moments, but the delays from the brain damage are definitely more pressing anymore.

So many ideas are going through my head right now, but none of them are making any sense and it's getting pretty late.  If anyone still visits this little blog, I hope you have a very Merry Christmas.

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